The disorder affects around two percent of the population. Mental illness affects many more though; even celebs like Selena Gomez and Mariah Carey have shared their struggles with mental health. However, this is not a reason to allow the person you love with BPD to manipulate or abuse you. Still set your limits and stick to them, but in a loving and nonjudgmental way.

I was disappointed in myself a bit with that the day she broke up. BUT, I will be looking in to getting your book as my partner and I need to find strategies with how to cope and deal with me and my anger, controlling and negativity. It is all very exciting as is the turmoil. I have no issue with her dating or sleeping with other men and have told her so as we aren’t committed to each other. As a matter of a fact, I’ve dated so many BPD’s over the course of the decade, that I actually get off on the promiscuity.

Don’t assume everyone has a conscience. Better yet, assume they don’t unless they’ve proven themselves.

That’s just due to addiction, it happens to people all the time. But you just have to keep letting him know that you won’t be with someone that’s into drugs and alcohol. I can’t stand dating a girl who likes to drink a lot.

If the relationship doesn’t end, and you solve the challenges, they may also restart the cycle. If your partner lives with BPD but you remain unaware, this is the stage where the relationship may end. Candy dating Without satisfaction or sense of security from their efforts to test you, a partner living with BPD may resort to intentional distancing. They’ll try to emotionally leave you before you leave them.

What’s behind BPD cyclic behaviors in relationships?

My ex, who liked her initially, didn’t trust her anymore. Eventually she started staying weekends at an older gentleman’s home who was much more wealthy. Then she moved in with him and I was just a friend, for a while. My ex’s best friend had got her a job and this gentleman and her had been friends for over 25 years, bit were friends with benefits for about 4 years since his divorce. I had been arranging to move out into an apartment so my love and I would be happier.

I’m getting to be an older dude and I’ve been in my share of relationships. This one is pretty unique for me so far and it certainly requires me to be the best man I can be in my quest to hold up my end of the deal. I told her I understood and I would back off, but in return, when she needed me to back off in the future she would do the same thing she had done this time and tell me I need to give her some space. She called me a douche bag and told me to stop telling her what she needed to do…then she agreed that she would do just that. I had two of this relationships, i was married to one and right after divorce went right to another BPD relationship because thats all i knew. My fiance of 2 years moved into my home and we continued a journey toward what I thought was going to be a happy ending.

I’m aware of that about me and I work on it daily. The work I do regarding my weakness actually improves my life in other areas. I envision myself in situations that run out of control and how I’ll handle them. We had an interaction that had me off balance near the beginning of our situation where she’d convinced herself I might not be real. Logic would not work, she had to find her own way to draw the correct conclusion which she eventually did.

Dating Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder FAQ’s

The best friend needed to move out and was going to take the room my love and I slept in. That’s when the affair with the older man started at first. My love never apologized but seemed to torture me with it.

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This may persuade your partner to seek BPD treatment if they previously refused. Make a list of all the behaviors your partner exhibits that irritate or annoy you, including instances in which your partner does you damage. Prescription drugs or psychotherapy can also assist individuals in dealing with co-occurring issues such as alcoholism or depression. People with BPD may express feeling empty on a regular basis. They may try to fill this void with drugs or sex, but this usually does not satisfy them. Borderline Personality Disorder can cause a wide range of symptoms.

I have just recently realized that I was having a fling… or something with a male borderliner. It was fuld of drama… but I kind of liked a little drama. Well you’ve got to care and love yourself first if you want any success. The reason she’s turned off is that your attractiveness levels are very low and thus she’s not into you.

But he’s still a wonderful friend, and I trust him. I am so thankful that he modeled for me what a healthy relationship feels like. Now I’m single for the first time in years, with no prospects on the horizon, and I’m actually enjoying it. I’m finally learning how to give myself all the love I thought I needed to seek from others. Your mentality is wrong, but I understand that you’re angry.